Category Archives: Ask Pastor Des

Ask Pastor Des?: My Husband Wasn’t Completely Honest…

My husband wasn’t completely honest with me when I asked him about something, he had an opportunity to just tell me instead he ignored it; and then later I found what I was in search of and he had given it to a family member. Was I wrong for going off and I am wrong for being upset?

Lady Mel: My first question is Why did he lie? He obviously lied because he has issues with trust. I’m not necessarily saying that you deserved that response but we have to stop and think did I lead him to this point or is this a response that has developed overtime even as far back as childhood. The family member that he trusted is someone whom I gather he is very close to. I would safely assume that this family member is a parent.  If this indeed who it is we must keep in mind that as we develop relationships and seek guidance from a more spiritual perspective we must then understand that as it is written

In Matthew 19:15 and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh… You have some external relationships that could be contributing to your issues of trust that is conflicting from the direction in which your relationship needs to be headed. Keep in mind marriage takes a great deal of work!  I’m reminded of commercials that say, some assembly required,lol. Well marriage requires more assembly and then some work. Especially as it relates to spiritual growth and development.

It’s okay to be upset, but it’s another thing to go left and out of control. Remember that you are responsible for your anger. Recognize what triggered it and how if you feel those feeling what you need to do to redirect yourself. Patience as a fruit of the Spirit and takes time to develop, trust me I know.

How should you confront it?

The best way to confront the situation is by talking about it and expressing that you were hurt about it.  The best way to overcome this is by doing it together. Issues of trust and fear require open channels of communication and prayer. You also overcome this by continuing to put God first in your relationship and you both get closer to him and further away from external influences then your family unit with function in according the His fundamental foundation for a marriage that is both pleasing and productive for the edification of the kingdom. I could probably continue to share on this post but I think this is a good stopping point if you need further dialogue don’t hesitate to reach out.

Lady Mel

Ask Pastor Des: Why is it that every time I go to someone for help or advice , I either get a slap in the face or shunned away like they don’t want any thing to do with me?

You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. 14 Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.15 You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. Psalm 139:13-15 (NLT)

This is in Response to ASK PASTOR DES request:
I want you to know that there is nothing wrong with you. When God made you he took his precious time to stop all that was being done to create such a great and wonderful person. Sometimes those that we may seek for advice may not have our best interest at heart. It is good to have those that we can go to for advice, on the other hand we do have to be careful of those that we allowed in our personal life. We must seek to place our trust and care in God. Peter instructs us to cast or give our cares  to the Lord because he truly does care for you. Even in my own life I had to learn this because there were people that I thought I could confide in but later found out that they did not have my best interest at heart. Seek God and he will place you in the company of those who love and care for you as well as will hear your concerns. They will not only hear your concerns and be in prayer with you but they will give sound biblical advice under the guidance of the Holy Spirit.
Blessings and love to you,

Pastor Des

Here are a few scriptures for you to read Psalm 139:13 ; Psalm 139:14 ;Psalm 139:15