Ask Pastor Des?: My Husband Wasn’t Completely Honest…

My husband wasn’t completely honest with me when I asked him about something, he had an opportunity to just tell me instead he ignored it; and then later I found what I was in search of and he had given it to a family member. Was I wrong for going off and I am wrong for being upset?

Lady Mel: My first question is Why did he lie? He obviously lied because he has issues with trust. I’m not necessarily saying that you deserved that response but we have to stop and think did I lead him to this point or is this a response that has developed overtime even as far back as childhood. The family member that he trusted is someone whom I gather he is very close to. I would safely assume that this family member is a parent.  If this indeed who it is we must keep in mind that as we develop relationships and seek guidance from a more spiritual perspective we must then understand that as it is written

In Matthew 19:15 and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh… You have some external relationships that could be contributing to your issues of trust that is conflicting from the direction in which your relationship needs to be headed. Keep in mind marriage takes a great deal of work!  I’m reminded of commercials that say, some assembly required,lol. Well marriage requires more assembly and then some work. Especially as it relates to spiritual growth and development.

It’s okay to be upset, but it’s another thing to go left and out of control. Remember that you are responsible for your anger. Recognize what triggered it and how if you feel those feeling what you need to do to redirect yourself. Patience as a fruit of the Spirit and takes time to develop, trust me I know.

How should you confront it?

The best way to confront the situation is by talking about it and expressing that you were hurt about it.  The best way to overcome this is by doing it together. Issues of trust and fear require open channels of communication and prayer. You also overcome this by continuing to put God first in your relationship and you both get closer to him and further away from external influences then your family unit with function in according the His fundamental foundation for a marriage that is both pleasing and productive for the edification of the kingdom. I could probably continue to share on this post but I think this is a good stopping point if you need further dialogue don’t hesitate to reach out.

Lady Mel

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